Is 'Are You There God? And, uh this is a story my mother told me I should do on stage. Im like, No! I have sleep apnea, which keeps my wife awake. Those were dudes? Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up [whooping] Um The other day, um Jeff Jeff Foxworthy and I were Jeff has a special on Sirius called The Comics Mind, and hed been talking to me about doing it. Because the most jacked-up cooch Ive ever seen in my life is way better looking than my ball sack. Streaming Schedule, Season 5, Part 2 Debut Info, 2023 NYP Holdings, Inc. All rights reserved, Stream It Or Skip It: 'John Mulaney: Baby J' On Netflix, The Stand-Up Comedian's Post-Rehab Return To Center Stage, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Alex Borstein: Corsets & Clown Suits' On Prime Video, Mrs. Maisel's Manager Takes The Stage To Sing And Sling Jokes, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Louis C.K. Regal Coming Soon, Regal And if youre looking for a bicycle, its a great deal. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. >> julia, thank you very much for that update. that does it for me tonight, thanks for spending part of your saturday with us. Fuck, dude. These are two broke fucking fingers. Just lunch. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef taste like boot leather. They just like to watch. Ladies, if you dont like the way the cooch is looking, before you go do something that extreme, try this. What? First big gig we did together was the first week in December 1996 at the MGM Grand in Vegas. He wants to build a wall between the US and Mexico to keep out immigrants, and I wanted to build a net between the US and Canada to keep those fucking geese out of here. Maybe one day well be the big comics in Vegas, and our names will be on those big fucking signs. Im going to do it, cause Im surprised they know it, but I support the Montreal Comedy Festival, and if you ever have a chance to go to Montreal in the summer to go to the festival, its the coolest fucking thing there is. And Im driving, and I look ahead, and theres a sobriety checkpoint and Im like Fuck Which is what you say when you see a sobriety checkpoint. And undeniably funny. Thats how much money Ive got. [inaudible] I want to start off this evening by telling you something about me you may not know. Three weeks ago, my wife and I went to New York City, and we went to a gay wedding, and it was a man marrying a woman, [laughing] but it was the gayest fucking thing Ive ever seen. But I know if I wake her up trying to have sex with her, shell hit me in the face with a bucket of nickels I just spotted on the nightstand. Watch Ron White only on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/in/title/80244900Follow NETFLIX IS A JOKE:Facebook: www.facebook.com/NetflixIsAJokeTwitter: www.twitter.com/NetflixIsAJokeInstagram: www.instagram.com/NetflixIsAJokeSUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/29qBUt7About Netflix:Netflix is the world's leading internet entertainment service with 130 million memberships in over 190 countries enjoying TV series, documentaries and feature films across a wide variety of genres and languages. I walk out there and get shot, her and them dogs leave out the back door, hop in the Mercedes, live the life of Riley, while I bleed to death on that fucking rug she had to have. Remove Ads Cast Crew Details Genres Cast Ron White 63 mins More at IMDb TMDb Sign in to log, rate or review Share Ratings 1 fan 3.3 ", Stream It Or Skip It: 'Moonage Daydream' on HBO Max, a David Bowie Biography That's More Sensual Experience than Documentary, Personality Crisis: One Night Only Finds Punk Pioneer David Johansen Recounting His Many Lives, Stream It Or Skip It: 'The Legacy of J Dilla' on FX/Hulu, Exploring The Life, Beats, And Career Of The Late Hip-Hop Hero, Stream It Or Skip It: Little Richard: I Am Everything on VOD, A Biodoc As Vibrant As Its Subject, The Peter Pan & Wendy Sea Shanty Is An Ear Worm That Will Haunt Your Dreams, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Peter Pan and Wendy' on Disney+, Director David Lowery's Lightly Visionary Disney Rehash, Where Was Peter Pan and Wendy Filmed? You went to one of my shows, you She let you! Baby. I may or may not be a little drunk. Im the reluctant watchdog. Thats all you need. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up | Radio Times You look like you just ate a ghost pepper. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Like, What? What's he doing? Natures most shitty critical thinkers. From the big lip to the little lip, right over the clit, tuck in the meat curtains if you got em. Heres what I get at three oclock in the morning when I have a six oclock flight: [whispering] Ron. Cause .08s not drunk. Im not busting on women from the Middle East. And the punchline of that story is, I come back to the States, when I get back to the States, my assistant goes, Ron, did you hear that John Mayhew died? And Im like, John Mayhew Why do I know that name? Its your ex-wifes divorce lawyer. [laughing quietly] Oh, I hated that motherfucker. It seemed like they would give you a sack or something. So when Bill gets finished, he comes down and does a set with us and when we get done with our shows, Bill and Jeff wanna go drinking and gambling, and I want to go to a prayer meeting and a poetry reading that Id heard about. Moxy and her colorful friends leave Uglyville on a quest to find a kid to love. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - Netflix Bain de Soleil sunless tanning lotion for dark skin only, and apparently I was getting down, cause it was on my nipples and the inside of my thigh. Nobody in this fucking room would do it. Thats why. Im not trying to be an asshole, and I go, Really? No sabemos si las ancdotas son ciertas o es todo parte de la rutina, pero sea como fuere, la balanza se inclina 3 a 0 a favor, razn por la cual tens que ver este especial ;)Hasta el prximo episodio Gracias por ver! One of these treatments is a thing called anal bleaching. And I would never go spend the night at anybodys house, cause I knew Id wet the bed and theyd find out I was a bed-wetter, and so far nobody really knew but my mom and my dad, and it was just my biggest secret. Im 61 years old now, and I know two things to be true. Streaming October 16 on Netflix. She bought me a bicycle, thinking I might ride it. Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Teaser), Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Trailer). Its not like if I told youthe story without saying that, youd have gone, That was very short and happened a long time ago. Ill get some money. I dont know if it just looks tired or sad, or worried about something it cant do anything about. Whats the problem? I said, I ordered a movie, it said, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing came on the TV. She goes, What did you order? Cast Away. So I did my set, and Im out in the hallway talking to Joe Rogan and this guy comes up to me, in his early 30s, I would guess, very flamboyant, very nervous. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. Thanks for playing our game. 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[cheering and applause] When Jeff got big enough to take somebody with him, he took me with him, which was an amazingly gracious thing for Jeff to do for me. Lets go to this thing. Because this dick wont suck itself. And then I was watching Godfather, I thought, Well, if instead of that horse head, they just had Chris Hemsworth with no shirt on. I really do. But oddly enough, I do have a suggestion for this. Ron, wake up. I just never have. And traditionally during the week, these three comics would go to the mall and those two comics would watch that comic spend money. We decided to break it up, and Vegas will make you horny if you let it. Its a nickel for a hundred of em. I got a good idea, Tommy. Im not doing that either. And it really reminded Jeff and I of how much fun we have on stage together and how much we like to play off each other. And traditionally in American comedy clubs, theres three acts. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Im a 61-year-old raging alcoholic, motherfucker. Or thats what it said in the deposition. But they keep hounding me till I say, Yeah, fuck it, lets go. But I didnt want her to go. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - netflix.com Youre not even trying? 3,036, This story has been shared 2,003 times. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. and the Vaginal rejuvenation. Ron White: If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up | Stand-up Special Trailer [HD] | Netflix Netflix 25.4M subscribers 118K views 4 years ago Fully-functioning organs are not necessary. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Tasted strong. That aint even kind of drunk. Bienvenidos a un nuevo episodio de Estrenos en Netflix!Hoy vamos a hablar de un especial de comedia de Ron White que se llama \"If you quit listening, i'll shut up\", y que se estren en Netflix el 16 de Octubre de 2018.Muchos chistes machistas y muchas groseras, pero un comediante que es un Sandy y que sale a escena con un vaso de whisky y un puro. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Im going to open a chain of restaurants that only sells baby goose pussy lip tacos. Recorded at The Paramount Theater in Denver, CO, stand-up comedienne Kathleen Madigan explores topics including aging parents, interactions with millennials, and hunting bigfoot. My beer is cold. 'Succession' Season 4 Finale Date: When Is the Last Episode? I just grabbed my big black dick and left. Im all over it, dude. Ooh! Jeff? What Time Does 'Yellowjackets' Season 2, Episode 6 Air On Showtime? And just set it and forget it and fucking shut it down. I was leaving a party the other night, and this buddy of mine goes, Hey, Ron, can you drive? I was like, I can drive I cant get pulled over.. You think you know tender but you really dont. You fucking idiot. Whats the record? Its a dating website and I actually saw another dating website that made me think of mine. Watch Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up | Netflix Official I dont have another eight goddamn dollars. And I called the front desk in a panic. Nothing could make this better. And I wear wild socks, and So Im having breakfast in this restaurant across the street from the hotel Im staying in, by myself, and I finish with my meal, I realize I dont have any money. 0:46. You let me think, I went my whole life, that Id pissed in Joe Paines fucking bunk bed?, So my wife and I, we both tour extensively, and, uh she bought us two dogs, which, you know, just makes touring easier if you have a couple of dogs to drag with you on all those flights, and she bought us two French Bulldogs. 6:01, gets there. Cats die when they touch the road. *****************************************************************************Donate belowYour contributions help support the channel!https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=376E-66mSO9HVNOKHNfR6XaKkMJJ11H_3hh8b15mFOUQcpHHDeBUDuuMYQwlvkjM9gARI0\u0026country.x=CA\u0026locale.x=******************************************************************************Needing Assistance to Create/Host your Website, check out blue host below:https://www.bluehost.com/track/phlavaFind the Perfect freelance services for your business eg) logo design and branding, dropshipping, illustrations, clothing design, business cards, t-shirt designhttps://track.fiverr.com/visit/?bta=206481\u0026brand=fiverrcpaFor Fiverr Logo Design:https://track.fiverr.com/visit/?bta=206481\u0026brand=fiverrhybrid\u0026landingPage=https%3A%2F%2Fdiscover.fiverr.com%2Flogo-design-7%2FFor Fiverr Social Media Design:https://track.fiverr.com/visit/?bta=206481\u0026brand=fiverrhybrid\u0026landingPage=https%3A%2F%2Fdiscover.fiverr.com%2Fsocial-media-grid-design-2%2FFor Fiverr Animated intro Video:https://track.fiverr.com/visit/?bta=206481\u0026brand=fiverrhybrid\u0026landingPage=https%3A%2F%2Fdiscover.fiverr.com%2F%3Fs%3DAnimated%2BIntro%2Bvideo Great big old, big old, big uns. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Lets do a big shot of tequila, you snort some cocaine off my dick and fuck me right up the butt. And they march off to the bathroom and do exactly that, exactly then, and the reason they can is theres not a woman there to go, Well, thats morally wrong and bathrooms arent near clean enough to butt-fuck in. Oh, they beg to differ. Well, youre gifted. And I told this young guy, I said, Yeah, if I were you, Id go to a gay bar, let somebody fuck me in the ass and make goddamn sure Im not gay, cause it looks like theyre having more fun than anybody to me., It does too, cause we live right next to West Hollywood. My wife does yoga, and next to her yoga school in Beverly Hills, theres a spa that offers treatments that Ive never heard of. You got to unwrap a few to get the one youre looking for in a sight unseen situation. And you know why theyre having so much fun? Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. And thats about a 45-second task with me at 18 years old. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up. This one takes a bit to get going and funny, but once he starts, he keeps it going hard. There were porno movies everywhere, but the porno movie that caught my eye was called Fat Midgets Fucking Fat Midgets Two. Since the Blue Collar Comedy Tour first started in 2000, Texas native Ron White has always stood apart from the other three stand-up comedians as the odd man in. Dont worry about them. Thats what I do. But I took her to Vegas. Black and Pecker, Peterbilt, Johnson & Johnson and Johnson. I dont sleep very well. Theyre like, Ooh, look at that one. Which one? Now Ive never walked in the doors of this place, and I dont know exactly what theyre up to, but apparently some people are really unhappy with the color of the old bunghole. Baby goose pussy [tripping over his tongue] makes wagyu beef taste like boot leath boot All right, Im gonna rewrite this sentence. But when somebody breaks into our house now, they discover that all of our things have been chewed up and pissed on. Filming Locations for the Disney+ Movie, Alexander Molony Is the Perfect Blend of Charming and Naive in Disney+s Peter Pan & Wendy, What Does "Doderick Macht Frei" on 'Succession' Mean? He goes, Well, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer, and I said, Well, heres the bad news, Hoss. Im like, Oh! Bienvenidos a un nuevo episodio de Estrenos en Netflix!Hoy vamos a hablar de un especial de comedia de Ron White que se llama "If you quit listening, i'll sh. For all New peeps to my channel, plz like and Subscribe and hit that Notification bell for Future Videos.Weekly. Charming. Bring it into the shop. This is how the conversation ended. Just laying there dead, cause it died somewhere? Not plump girls, not fat girls. The other day I was watching Tarzan, the new Tarzan movie. I thought about being gay one time, and I changed my mind when it came my turn. And I know some guys that have had one homosexual experience or two or 10,000, doesnt make a fuck bit of difference to me. Well, that same year my dear friend Bill Engvall, the dancer People ask me all the time, Do you think youll ever do Dancing With The Stars? Im like, Not unless something goes horribly fucking wrong., Well, that year, Bill was touring with Reba McEntire. My uncle was a Baptist preacher, and I was at his little white clapboard Baptist church in a little bitty town in Texas and I was sitting Vacation bible school. [whispering] Did you? Do you think I fucking heard it? Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. We walk up to this booth that only sells dildos. No, thats our boy Tater Salad, is who that is. And it was his goal for a lot of years to make me a famous comedian, and he truly sucks at it, cause it took him for fuckin ever. Privacy Policy Get some Brylcreem and some dippity-do and a hair dryer. Im not a 21-year-old, puking cheap tequila through my nose. Just lunch. He brought one to Vegas last year, and I saw her by the swimming pool in a two-piece bathing suit, and I cant jack the fucking memory out of my goddamn skull. I didnt make the drinks. Hes the drunk uncle of the group. !For all New peeps to my channel, plz like and Subscribe and hit that Notification bell for Future VideosWeekly Uploads! I ran, um I ran for president of the United States, and I dont think I won, because nobodys called and I quit watching television. Im in the road! Does a Z-pattern to get across. My pizza is done. Ron White: If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up - YouTube 1,911, This story has been shared 1,802 times. Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Link to Asian-American Pacific Islander Heritage, Link to RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes. What is the Spanish language plot outline for Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018)? 2023 White House Correspondents' Dinner : MSNBCW : April 29, 2023 5 5,093, This story has been shared 4,772 times. 7:31. And I wet the bed! And Im like, Me too! And I never told him. Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Teaser), Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Trailer). Not two eyeholes like those other sluts. Drunk driving. You cant fix stupid. Youd think you can tell a mans mouth from a womans mouth, but you cannot. You ever notice nobody ever dies when you wish they would? No. So I really had to call and promote these shows and get everybody to come out, and I called this radio station in London. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 Directed by Tom Forrest Synopsis Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Coming Soon. I got to what? Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Find out where to watch on Netflix, Prime, Hulu & 40+ others Viagra. Ron White-Radical Terrorist Canadian Geese Reaction: If You Quit The same week we were at the MGM Grand, they were at Caesars Palace, and that same weekend, Larry The Cable Guy was at the International House of Pancakes in Tucson, Arizona. Not because they try to say something funny. Your email address will not be published. 1,802, This story has been shared 1,410 times. I wake up the next morning with this shit hangover, and shes already making coffee, and I wake up and she goes, Whats wrong with your hand? My hand is dark orange. You and her were standing in the kitchen and looked at that lime. He goes, I want you to stand on one foot, raise the other foot No, bullshit. Get too fat at the Golden Corral, go to the Dress Barn. Thats insensitive right there. They are. While TVs sitcom rednecks encountered cute culture clashes with their posh new neighbors, White regales us with how he has come to respect and almost admire the gay men in the West Hollywood bars near his home.
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